So I definitely look pregnant now.

I had another appointment at the OB this past Monday. More evidence that I don't know what I'm doing: I didn't know I was going to get to hear the baby's heartbeat again, even though I wasn't going to get an ultrasound. It was like a present!

People have been asking me if I can feel the baby moving, but I haven't (that I know of). The doctor said I probably wouldn't feel movement for another month, but when people keep asking you, you start to wonder if something's wrong, you know?

I thought I was 17 weeks, but I think the midwife said I was around 16 weeks. It reminds me of starting a new school year when I was teaching - I would count the number of weeks we'd been in school, thinking that there was no way I'd lose track, but then, of course, I would. (Comparing pregnancy to weeks in school = appropriate or inappropriate? You be the judge.)

It kind of makes me feel like a bad pregnant lady, but on the other hand, who has time to keep all that straight?

So, anyway, I got to hear the heartbeat, which was lovely, as well as other noises (weird whooshes). The midwife said, "That's the baby kicking and tumbling." It was reassuring, but also kind of strange because I can't feel it yet.

I got to ask a couple questions, including, "I'm trying to lie on my side at night, but I wake up on my back." My husband actually is on "non-roll-over" duty and tries to make me get back on my side if he wakes up and sees I'm lying on my back. It's not the most effective method, but what can you do? I asked the midwife about a Snoogle, which she had never heard of. ("Snuggle?" she repeated. "Snooker?") She said it was up to me. Not what a first-time pregnant lady (at least, one like me) wants to hear. I want to know for sure, yes or no. When you really don't know how things are going to turn out (it's an uncertain world), you want to hear something decisive. So, yet another issue I'm on the fence about: to "Snoogle" (tm) or not to "Snoogle" (tm)?

After having gotten through the first trimester with the nausea basically over, there are times I forget that I'm pregnant. It's still hard to believe that my body is holding another body. If I catch sight of myself in a mirror or a window's reflection, it's almost always a surprise to see a pregnant lady there. I look like other pregnant women! How is that possible?

Apparently in the third trimester, there's never a time you forget you're pregnant. Whooooooo, boy.

In other news, my cousin (who is expecting her second) found out that she's having another girl. Yay!!! It also makes me extra impatient, though, because I won't know for another month what sex the maybebaby is.

So, here are the names so far suggested by family members:

Boris Raoul (the name my father claims he would have named me had I been a boy)

Richard (Ian's father's name - suggested by his father; Ian's older brothers both had boys [one had two!] and none of the boys was named after their grandfather)

Siobhan (my mother, who couldn't come up with any other Irish or Scottish names; she figured that since both my name and my husband's name were from the British Isles, we might want to stick with that)

Jeff (I guess that's only funny if you know Ian's last name)

Erian (my parents, who thought it would be funny to combine our names in such a way that made our baby sound like it was the product of neo-Nazis)

....I can't remember the others now, but as I remember them (or get new suggestions from you!....c'mon, you know you want to), I'll post them.

Thanks to everyone who has posted so far: Karen, Julie, Brook, Nichole, Megan, Abbey, Mere, Betsy, and Jason. Your info (and positivity) is truly appreciated!

Rambling Post

There are lots of baby blogs out there. I guess it's natural to compare. I have thought about baby belly pictures, but... a) I'm lazy and b) I can't find my digital camera. Some blogs have music on them (not a fan). (Other blogs are scary, because you're going along, reading, and then you find out that the person had a miscarriage or something sad happened. And people [real-life people] tell you horrible stories. I'm not sure why, but they do. I heard the absolute worst one the other day, and I swear I will not repeat it to anyone.) Other blogs reveal that the parents have already gone out and bought lots of baby items (at only twenty weeks, sometimes less). Wow! Organized.

I think it will be very strange when we actually own real baby items. At this point, just having baby books seems normal, but to actually own baby clothes or diapers or ... equipment (?) ... seems like saying we're blithely assuming everything will go smoothly. I try not to think about it too much, but I'm almost afraid of tempting fate or the gods. Maybe if you've done it once and it's gone well, you have more security in how things will go. I try to remind myself that most of the people around me were born and have turned out (basically) normal and the mothers were fine afterwards. Mostly I just try not to think about it. It's easier to not think about it as much since I'm not as nauseous as I was in the first trimester and I'm only a bit bigger than I have been at some points in my life. I haven't been "thin" since my freshman year of college, so having put on weight doesn't seem like such a change in general (except that I'm wearing maternity clothes, instead of just larger sizes).

But speaking of baby items -- we'll probably have some by Sunday! Ian's mom has already put together a "baby basket" of things for us, including something(s) in the "Classic Pooh" design, which I do like a lot. She loves to give, so this will be great fun for her (even more fun if it's a girl, as she had three boys and loves to buy girl things). I, of course, appreciate everything she gives us; it will just be weird to bring home baby things. Also, we have nowhere to put anything....

That brings me to another quandary: should we stay or should we go? We are living in a small apartment that is super cheap, but does not get much light and has a musty smell and very, very old appliances (I believe the last two items are related, because I have tried to clean and get that musty smell out and it just does not leave!). We have lots of closet space (and have filled each closet to overflowing), but only two bedrooms. Our bedroom is not big enough for a pack 'n' play (unless we take out our bed!), but we could put it in the office. The office could not be re-done as a nursery (not a big deal), and it's got piles of boxes all around the perimeter of the room. We can barely get into the closets as it is. What will it be like after we have baby things?

Our living room/dining area is also small -- my mom has been talking about getting one of those little indoor swing things (bouncer? what do you call those?), but we'll have to get rid of a couch before we can think about putting anything like that in here. I mean, I don't mind making adjustments, but it already feels crowded. We went through things when we moved and got rid of lots of stuff - we had the Salvation Army come and take furniture and cooking items away....

Oh, the kitchen! So, I got one of those baby bottles (drop-ins, by playtex -- who knew they made baby things? not me!) when I got my maternity clothes. (People do like to give you stuff.) So, I finally tried to put it away. There was one cabinet where I could put it. All the rest are full. It's not like we cook a lot (friends, you can attest to that, I know), so we don't have any fancy items. I used to have a glass collection that I pared down quite a bit to make everything fit, and we don't even have a good set of cookware. I blame our lack of counterspace on the fact that I broke one of my bowls this week. We can't put things on the stove because it's really easy to brush or bump against it and turn on a burner without realizing it. Since there's no dishwasher, we have to have room for a dish drainer next to the sink...

Man, pregnancy has made me whinier than usual!

For now, we've just looked at a couple places around town -- neither has been worthy of packing up and moving, for sure. Even though this place would be a real pain with three of us (plus a cat), it's kind of hard to not want to save money while having all the extra expenses of a newborn.

In other news... I got a haircut! If any of you have seen me lately, you know this is a good thing. I haven't had it cut/colored since June, and I was looking ... well, unfortunate. Luckily I got a good recommendation from a co-worker, and now consider myself to be much happier. It's not super short or anything, just much better than the long mess I've had for the past couple months. What a relief!

Okay, last thing: THANK YOU to everyone who emailed me or posted suggestions -- you have all been very helpful! Feel free to keep making suggestions, they are definitely welcome!

And now I should actually try to clean up the house a bit before we head to the in-laws'....